What Do I Do if I Don't Like My In-Laws? - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - October 29

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What Do I Do if I Don't Like My In-Laws?

By: Vivian Bricker

“Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31).

After getting married, your spouse’s parents become your in-laws. Many people love their in-laws, while others have a tough time being around them. There seem to be more and more people siding with the latter; in every situation, we need to have a biblical approach. We might not be the biggest fans of our in-laws, but that doesn’t mean we should ever be hateful towards them.

I have heard many married couples say terrible things about their in-laws. This is detrimental not only to our in-laws, but also to our spouses. Our in-laws are our spouse’s parents—we need to be mindful of this truth. Saying hurtful things about their parents can hurt your spouse in the process. Choose to be kind, caring, and loving when you talk about your in-laws, even if it might be hard at times.

If you are reading this and you are thinking, “It is impossible for me to be kind, caring, or loving toward my in-laws,” know that your feelings are seen. Maybe your in-laws have not been the nicest to you or have made a few hurtful comments. Your pain and hurt are valid; however, the Bible tells us we cannot repay evil with evil. Romans 12:17 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.”

In everything we do, we need to follow the Bible. It is never right to be disrespectful to our in-laws, regardless of how they treat us. The Apostle Peter tells us, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). If our in-laws are mean or rude to us, we need to repay their hurtful words and actions with blessings.

In this way, we will be showing Jesus’ love to them. They are not being kind to us, yet we are choosing to live for Jesus and not in accordance with our sinful flesh. In-laws have a way of getting under our skin, but we don’t have to allow them to upset us. If they say something mean to us, we need to overlook their insult and return a blessing.

By doing this, your in-laws will not be able to say anything bad about you. Avoid getting upset or lashing out at them. This will only cause them to say more negative things in the future. Choose to follow Jesus and glorify Him in your actions. If they say anything bad about your actions as you are following and obeying the Lord, then they would be insulting the Lord’s work in your life.

The Holy Spirit is the member of the Trinity, who can provide us with spiritual fruit. He cultivates spiritual fruit in our lives, including love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Through the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives, He can equip us to be kind, loving, and gentle in our encounters with our in-laws. They can try to be difficult; however, the Holy Spirit will keep us in step with Him. The more we lean on the Holy Spirit and are receptive to His guidance, the less we will be bothered by hurtful comments from our in-laws.

The route our in-laws choose is up to them; however, we can still return evil with blessing. Wives, be forgiving of your in-laws—they are going to be more prone to say negative statements about you. This is due to various things, but the root is found in sin.

Be kind in your interactions; however, also know when you need to speak up for yourself. If your in-laws give you a hard time about anything, including body size, career choices, or parenting style, know when it is time to speak up. When you decide it’s time to speak up, ensure you maintain your grace and dignity. It is vital to remain calm and collective as you point out hurtful words and comments. By making it clear to them that these comments are hurtful, you will be setting a boundary that should not be crossed.

What part of today’s devotional spoke to your marriage or walk with God? Join the Crosswalk Couples discussion.

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/. 

Related Resource: 3 Simple Ways to Feed Your Spouse More Praise

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